Of Phantoms And Phantom Thieves
by Song-Obsessed1
Summary: Shinichi and Kaito are both searching for the Pandora Gem. One to live and one to destroy. An alliance is formed. -[Conan and Kaitou Crossover]-
1. Agency Hauntings

**Of Phantoms And Phantom Thieves Edited Version**

**Chapter 1: Agency Hauntings**

**-----**

**"I'll get it!" Mouri Ran called out to the rest of the household. Not that it mattered much since the only other being there that was actually capable of opening the door was sprawled out on his bed sleeping off a hangover. And Conan, or as she'd learnt was Shinichi, all details put aside, was too short to reach the doorknob without using large amounts of effort on his part.**

**And there was always the fact that the irrelevant woman that was waiting at the door would've been quite horrified, if not confused, at the door opening on it's own. But, that was all understandable.**

**"Welcome to the Mouri Detective Agency! How can I help you?" Quipped Ran, as she'd had to repeat that phrase often as of late. **

**"Um... Is this the place with the room for rent?" Irrelevant woman, wearing a windbreaker and jogging pants, asked politely.**

**Ran froze for a moment, blinked, then stared. "No, we don't have a room for rent. What gave you that impression?" She asked confusedly.**

**Irrelevant woman then proceeded to pull a flyer out of the jacket of her coat. "This did. It was pinned up in front of the corner store."**

**Conan, or Kudo, sweat dropped from his place of standing idly in the hallway entrance. 'I know what this is about.' He chuckled to himself. 'This is going to be quite entertaining!'**

**"Mou, let me see that." Irrelevant woman handed Ran the paper. Ran quickly scanned the note and turned red with outrage. She politely told irrelevant woman that there wasn't any room here and proceeded to scribble down an address where irrelevant woman could find one. The irrelevant woman thanked her and was on her way.**

**When irrelevant woman was out of sight not to mention hearing range, Ran let out an angered roar before charging into her Otou-san's room. **

**"Where-Where's the fire!!" Squawked Kogorou as he was tossed from his bed.**

**"I-I just can't believe you!!" Yelled Ran. Kogorou's eyes grew huge and he shrank away from his enraged female offspring. "How dare you try to rent away Shinichi's room again!" She shrieked.**

**"Well it's not my fault the pipsqueaks gone Ran! We need to pay the bills somehow!"**

**This only added fuel to the fire.**

**"He is NOT Otou-san! You know this, I know this, Heiji knows this and that imp Kaito knows this! You are out numbered trying to prove something that is false!! Give it UP!" Ran then abruptly stalked out of the room. Kogorou was just beginning to relax when Ran ran in with a pale of water and dumped it on him. "And no more liquor!" She then stormed back out of the room.**

**Kogorou's eye's widened and he gulped.**

**"Wow. You've really done it this time 'Oji-san'." Shinichi chided mockingly from the doorway. "Why on earth would you try to rent out my room when it hasn't worked the last twelve times you've tried it?" He grinned.**

**"Quiet you. You should go back to your own house you know that." He groused knowing it was a loosing battle.**

**"Aww... I don't want to live in a haunted house." Shinichi's grinned widened.**

**"Brat. I don't care what size or form you are, you are still a brat to me."**

**"But, you love me anyways, right?" **

**All he got for a reply was a book soaring across the room at his head.**

**It hit him.**

**Or should have. However, it merely landed on the ground, which previously had a person standing there.**

**"Stupid brat ghosts. Why's he got to haunt _my_ house? Humph." With that Kogorou went back to sleep, not caring about his soggy clothes or the snickering that followed a young not-boy down the hall. He tried to ignore the child-like voice asking Ran how the heck he'd had an actual copy of 'War and Peace' in his room.**

**-----**

**The doorbell rang for the second time that day. This time, however, they knew who it was behind the door and Kudo/Conan was permitted to answer it.**

**Sonoko looked at the door oddly for a moment as it swung open without the slightest hint as to how it had done it on it's own. The she smiled and walked in. The door shut behind her and she turned towards it at once.**

**"Good morning, _Chibi-chan_." She snickered.**

**The small boy grew visible in a moment's time and gave Sonoko a dry look. "Whatever happened to the ever-so-thoughtful 'Kudo-kun' I used to get from you, ne?"**

**"It shrunk."**

**"Ha. Funny. Not."**

**Sonoko shrugged and sat down on the couch. "Where's Ran?"**

**"Upstairs." Shinichi answered idly as he trotted over to the desk and flipped through the mail.**

**"Hey."**

**"What?" He spared a glance at her from over the desk.**

**"You know the Kaitou Kid, right _Chibi-chan_."**

**"...............Why?"**

**"I want you to give him this!" Sonoko replied by pulling a gift-wrapped box from her purse.**

**"..................................Why, pray tell?"**

**"Because, he's so kawaii!!" She squealed.**

**"No. He's not. Besides, he already has a girlfriend."**

**"Yes! But, with my chocolate made full of my love I am sure to win him over!" Sonoko ranted determinedly.**

**"Yeeeeeaaaaah. Right. Well… you do that." Conan sweatdroped. He then continued sifting through the mail.**

**Sonoko frowned at the not-so-young not-boy. "You are not one who should be giving love advice baka Chibi-chan."**

**"Why not pray tell?"**

**"Well, for one your dead."**

**"Yeah, well I won't be once KID finds that stone of his." Research with Kaito had proven that the stone could revive human bodies as long as their souls remained and were willing. They believed this legend could be true. Kaito just had to find it. **

**"Secondly, you're seven."**

**"Details, details."**

**"Third, your whole family's made up of eccentrics."**

**"That's a low blow."**

**"Right, _Chibi_-chan." Sonoko then proceeded to stick her tongue out at him.**

**Shinichi threw junk mail at her.**

**"Mou, quit it you two!"**

**"Ran!" Sonoko and Shinichi coursed simultaneously.**

**"Yes, now let's go or we're going to be late!" Ran said urging Sonoko along.**

**'She was waiting for _you_.' Thought Shinichi idly.**

**"Shinichi, we'll be back soon, shopping and all that lot. Bye!"**

**"Bye, Ran."**

**With that final farewell Ran and Sonoko left the Agency where Shinichi continued sorting his fan mail and such. Who knew one could receive _so many_ letters! It was ridiculous. **

**Times like these made him really wish the world KNEW he was dead…**

**-----**

**"Birthday?" Sonoko quipped. "Ah, that's right. It is about that time again, huh."**

**"Yeah, he's forgotten it, _again_. I don't know what to do with him sometimes." Ran sighed. **

**"Oh so that's why we're shopping, hmm?" Sonoko queried.**

**"Yeah. We can't throw him a kiddy party now so it'll be harder to pick out the supplies. However, I think this'll be good for him. He's been quite restless lately." Ran sighed again.**

**"Ah... Hey Ran?"**

**"Hmm?"**

**"Do _you_ know who the Kaitou Kid is?" She asked waving the gift in front of her.**

**"Sonoko..." Ran sweat dropped.**

**-----**

**Notes:**

**Yes, Kaito will be in this a lot. **

**No, I don't know what'll happen next. Any and all suggestions are appreciated.**

**No, I don't own Meitantei Conan or Magic Kaitou.**

**No, I don't know if this plot's been used before.**

**Notes Edited Version:**

**I was unhappy with the way the chapters were turning out so I went back and tied a few loose threads. I am very satisfied. Which means MORE CHAPTERS FOR YOU!!**

** And the moral of the chapter is… Ghost people get more fan mail than any of us.**

**Damn.**

**We apologise for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr Dogbody is a detective in the police farce.   
…Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper…**

**Hakuba: Oh bugger it all…**


	2. And The Plot Unfurls

**Of Phantoms And Phantom Thieves **

**Chapter 2: And The Plot Unfurls**

**-----**

**So far, life had been dull. Being dead wasn't easy nor was it a walk in the park. Not, at least, if you were pining to be alive again and plotting such feats. **

**Working with a thieving mishap of a magician had somehow worked itself into the details. Not that said magician minded. Oh no, on the contrary, he was ecstatic to have chibi helping him. They'd even carved some sort of relationship with one another. A decent one. **

**Okay, fine, I lie. It was magnificent the way the two cousins bonded almost instantly. **

**Oh… Yeah. By the way they're cousins, but, that's a story for another time, thank you very much.**

**That _still _didn't make up for Kaito's life of crime, but alas, what was one to do about such notions when it was to resurrect him.**

**How the _hell_ had his life become a _video_ game? He _loathed_ video games!**

**All this added up to one thing:**

**Kaito standing in a shimmering, glittery, orange jacket and faded jeans on the Mouri's front step.**

**It gave Shinichi images of Kaito with magenta hair (1)…**

'**Conan' sighed and let him in.**

"**Do you know why I'm here?" Kaito asked thus sprawling himself at an odd angle on the agency's couch.**

**Shinichi stared… And stared. Shook himself and sat down. "No, I don't… Do I _even_ want to know _why_?" He asked wryly seating himself upon the couch opposite of Kaito.**

"**No. No you don't." Kaito said with all the solemnity he was capable of. The suddenly a grin split onto his face. "Buuuuuuuuuut, I'm here to tell you!!" He cheered. **

"**Oh _great_!" Was the sarcastic reply he received. **

**"I thought up a new 'plan of attack'!" He exclaimed, waving his hands in air for emphasis.**

**"Which is-?"**

**"We steal the Raiju no Tama from the Hokkaido National Museum, in 9 days, at Midnight!" He sang.**

**Shinichi blinked and sighed once again. He absentmindedly noticed that he'd been doing that a lot lately. "Right. You've been doing research or you just makin' this stuff up, hmm?" Shinichi paused a minutes, eyes wide. "What did you mean by '_We_ steal'...?"**

**Kaito's grin was not a comforting one in the least.**

**-----**

**It was noon.**

**Hattori Heiji was happily lounging around in his ducky pajamas (2), watching re-runs of shojou anime (3), and sipping apple cider (4) when his moment of bliss was interrupted by an annoyance of a phone call.**

**"What do you _want_ Kaito?" He asked bitterly as he bit the straw of his cup. The phone rested between his ear and shoulder.**

**"Hattori-kuuuuun!! You, me, an' Chibi-chan are goin' ta steal a gem next week!" He said in a singsong voice. There was an audible squawk of profanity from a very young sounding boy at the mention of 'Chibi-chan'. **

**Hattori blinked and his eyes narrowed. Not that his dear friend Mr. Breaks-the-law could see it but it was in his voice if you listened hard enough. "No." With that he hung up.**

**He was resting down into his fluffy green couch 'Jeremy' (5) when the phone's ringing broke the peace into pieces. Knowing who it was, Heiji ignored it-**

**-Up until the point upon which the answering machine caught it and Kaito began saying 'PLEEEAAASE!' in every accent and voice he knew, including Heiji's. **

**Heiji had enough when he started on doing Kazuha and 'Conan's'... Mixed together.**

**_That,_ my friend, was _not_ a pleasant sound to one's ears.**

**"Fine, fine, you stupid Ahou. Where, when and how?" Heiji scrawled down the address for where they would meet and plan. "Okay. See you tonight. Ja."**

**With that he went back to his lounging. Lounging was fuuuuuuuuun.**

**-----**

**Notes: **

**Heiji, Ran, Kogorou, Kaito, Aoko, Kazuha, Agasa, Ai, and a few others do know who Conan is. However, the Shonen Tantei think Conan moved back to America. I couldn't have them thinking he was dead. That would bring about them wondering why everyone was so happy and why he or she might mention Conan in a conversation. That would derail the main plot of the fan fiction. They won't be appearing in this fic. o Sorry.**

**Conan lives with the Mouri's since he doesn't want to be alone. Ran is just happy he's back and she knows Kaito and Aoko as well. She also knows about the Pandora and what it could do for Conan. All is well. This is, after all, a humor fanfic.**

**Yes, Shinichi and Heiji are going to help the KID _steal_ something. Don't ask me. Details will be revealed later.**

**Also, the cause for Shinichi's death soon. Next chapter maybe. And there's the Heist and Birthday party to look forward too...**

**More later. Review Minna-san! **

**Song-sama loooooooves reviews!! XD **

**Notes Edited Version:**

**-1- This is for all those Gravitaion fans out there. Now who do we know with an orange jacket and a hyper attitude? It also vaguely disturbs me that Shinichi watches Gravitation… Well… Actually it explains the Shinichi/??? Yaoi ficcage.**

**-2- Yes. Heiji owns ducky pajamas. They were custom made by a greatful rich man's daughter after he saved her from a burning cat… Yes. I said CAT.**

**-3- Shoujo anime… Yeah well, like I said, Yaoi ficcage. XD**

**-4- Apple Cider IS the drink of the gods. Heiji, though being no where NEAR god level, likes it too. Go figure.**

**-5- Ah yes… This is the most important. THE NAMING OF THE FURNITURE!! With Gaijin names! If you think Jeremy is creepy wait 'til you meet Caron… It's a life size barbie doll head that lives in his attic… No. He doesn't do pervy things with it. **

** And the moral of the chapter is… DAMN, Heiji's messed up. O.o**

**There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964.  
by Roger Daltrey**

**Shinichi: I should hope so…**


	3. From The Ashes Of The Phoenix

**Of Phantoms And Phantom Thieves**

**Chapter 3: From The Ashes Of The Phoenix **

**-----**

**For one Ran Mouri, the hardest thing to deal with in her life so far had been death.**

**The death of her innocent young "charge" Conan.**

**But more importantly, the death of her long lost love; Kudo Shinichi...**

**-----**

**It had been a rainy afternoon. One, which was not to be underestimated. Great dollops of water cascaded from what seemed a vengeful darkened sky.**

**The 'Great' Detective Mouri Kogorou was returning, by car, from a case newly solved and on it's way to newspapers around Japan. His memories of solving the case nonexistent. Just like every other case Conan 'helped' Mouri-ojisan with. **

**Yawning Conan glanced out the window at the muddy slosh gathering on the dirt road. It was way past bedtime for even the normal nocturnal habits of Kogorou. And that in it's self was a bit much. The man usually stayed up drinking and watching Yoko Okino specials and usually had a nasty hangover the next day along with the annoyance of songs stuck in his head.**

**He noted idly that Ran was peacefully sleeping and probably wouldn't wake up until they reached their destination. **

**Conan twisted his body to lie down on the front seat to try and get a small rest himself.**

**He didn't see the car racing down the slippery road at high speed. And neither did Kogorou.**

**Until the car came blaring at them, lights on bright, blinding Kogorou. Needless to say both Ran and Conan were jerked awake by now.**

**He hit the brakes and the car spun wildly out of control and collided with the other vehicle. Then the other car rammed them away with the momentum it had gained and slammed them against a purple fork-leafed tree.**

**Conan's head had smacked violently against the window and smashed him against the dashboard before all was silent.**

**"Is-is everyone okay? Dad? Conan?" Ran had said, wide-eyed with panic and fear.**

**Conan's chest froze up. His breathing had become strenuous and labored. He hadn't realized that he'd hit his chest until now.**

**"C-Conan!?" Ran shrieked reaching for him from the back seat.**

**Before he blacked out he saw Kogorou pull out his cell phone and dial what he could only guess was 911.**

**-----**

**The next thing he new he saw a lot of blue. Not that he didn't like blue or anything but... Death was _blue!?_**

**After that he remembered waking up... In a hospital.**

**The helpless crying of a young woman, Ran, beside him. He reached out his hand to comfort her when he realized his hand hadn't moved. Not an inch. He was still chibi sized Conan but-**

**-He could see the rest of the room through his hand.**

**Conan had squawked and fallen of the bed. More surprised than he should have been to see a pale, solid, brown-haired image of himself lying in the bed. Not breathing.**

**For the first time in a long time, Conan felt scared witless. Which he was.**

**Many details follow. Some sentimental, some weird.**

**One being that the car that had instigated the accident happened to be a little old lady speeding to the grocery store to buy cat food... And she didn't own any cats. However, I digress.**

**Conan had spent an immeasurable amount of time trying to alert the Mouri's (Mostly just Ran. He didn't give a clue what Mouri knew...) to his presence. In all aspects it had only taken three days.**

**Three very, very, long days.**

**In which it took 1 Heiji Hattori, 3 misplaced magazines, 12 wooden spoons, 7 rolls of orange duct tape, 18 broken toothpicks, 1 roll of icicle Christmas lights, and 2 very stingy ferrets with spiky collars (1) to awaken the fact that Conan/Shinichi was very much dead but still with them.**

**Which had scared the heck out of Kogorou and he'd called in an exorcist. Since Ran didn't seem too happy that her father was trying to exorcise her boyfriend she chewed him up for that one but good.**

**Since then Kogorou had done numerous things to get revenge. Such as trying to rent out Conan/Shinichi's room. He, of course, failed. Multiple times.**

**-----**

**Shinichi sighed with exasperation, Heiji twitched uncomfortably and Kaito had to do a quick double take to make sure what he was seeing was, in fact, real.**

**"Ano... Shinichi. It may be out of line for asking this but... Why the _hell _is your bowtie _pink!_" Kaito queried, eyes wide with shock.**

**"Because, thieving baka, Ran's revenge tactics are worse than any you'll ever know."**

**"Even a mop?"**

**"Mop? Uh.. Yeah. Even a mop." **

**Heiji blinked. "Kudo... How did Mouri-san get your bowtie... if it's all ghosty... just like you?" It sort of looked like Heiji's brain was having a melt down trying to wrap itself around this small piece of information.**

**Kudo-kun cocked his head to the side in a confused manner that all but fit his child-like (if see through) exterior. He then gave them a small smirk. "I may not be solid, but no one ever said that I was untouchable."**

**"Oh." Kaito looked thoughtful. "So... If you want someone to be able to touch you they can?"**

**Shinichi nodded sagely. Which was quite creepy, really.**

**"Wow, and here I thought the line between alive and dead would be stricter than that." Mused Kuroba.**

**Heiji just blanched. "Can we get outta this closet now, _please?_"**

**"Ick. That sounded wrong." The Kaitou murmured.**

**"You hangin' with that Voodoo girl again?"**

**"She stalks me. It's not the same.**

**"Right."**

**"Yes, well I do believe that the girls have stopped hunting us down with pitchforks. So I think it is a necessity we get out of here."**

**Heiji sighed with relief. Hiding from four nagging females that wanted them to go shopping with them wasn't fun. Especially not when you're trying to plan a thief's heist. At least Kudo had lots of spare closet space.**

**Kaito had muttered something about how the girls had been gone, for what was probably, the better half of the hour. The muttering changed to cursing when Heiji not so accidentally knocked him in the face with his foot. **

**----**

**Aoko, Kazuha, Ran, and Sonoko, all chatted amiably amongst themselves as they sat at the local mall's ice cream parlor. Akako had departed mysteriously as soon as they passed the 'Voodoo For The Ages' store, and while Ran and Sonoko wondered, Aoko told them it was a usual occurrence.**

"**Ya know, I don't think we should come here anymore…" Murmured Kazuha.**

"**Yeah," Ran said taking a forlorn look at the posters for new flavors of ice cream, " I don't think 'Wild berry Cheese was EVER meant to be created. Kind of like Frankenstein…"**

**The silence between them stretched.**

"**So!" Aoko said breaking the silence. "What are you planning to get Kudo-kun, Ran-chan?"**

"**Err.."**

"**Yeah, fess up!" Demanded Sonoko. Kazuha just nodded and licked her strawberry ice cream cone as it began to melt.**

"**Well…" Ran began nervously, "I was planning to get him that new mystery book he wanted and…" The last part was murmured very quietly.**

"**What!?" Question Sonoko, Kazuha, and Aoko instantaneously.**

**Ran just blushed.**

"**That's awesome!" Sonoko cheered.**

"**That's a wonderful idea Ran-chan. Ah… I wish Heiji'd give me something that thoughtful."**

**There was a long pause as three sly grins beamed at poor Kazuha.**

"**Err… heh heh heh.."**

**----**

"**Feathers!?"**

"**Yes feathers. Geeze, Hakubaka, if you keep asking questions we'll never finish writing this down."  
**

"**You write this down?"**

"**Yes. That's what the paper is for."**

"**Grrr…"**

"**Huh. I should look for that archive. That'd be fun."**

"**You say somethin' Heiji?"**

"**Nope. Not me!"**

"**Thought not. Chibi-chan, bring me the pliers!"**

"**Why?"**

"…………"

"**Oh."**

"**I didn't know those could bend that way."**

"**That's what steam rollers are for."**

"…………"

"…………"

"…………"

"**What!?"**

"**Let's not question 'im. He's prolly got one. Somewhere."**

"**Agreed.**

"**Alright."**

"**Hey Kaito?"**

"**Yeah?"**

"**Why WAS there a slot in the dove house?"**

"… **So they can fly out when lifted and fly in when no one's AROUND to lift it."**

"**Oh."**

"**What _I _want to know is why, and how, did you stick your head in it Heiji."**

"**Err… Caron ( See chapter 2-Author's Note 5) told me to do it."**

"…………………………**..Right"**

**Soon they had freed Heiji's head from the grips of the evil dove house with the use of grape jelly and curry powder.**

**It turned Heiji's HEAD a sickly color of Maroon.**

**Because, honestly people. What did you THINK they were doing?**

**----**

**Notes:**

**Sorry I haven't updated for a while. Been busy.**

**-1- This is dedicated to Ysabet BECAUSE she is one of_ the most_ talented people I've EVER read. As is to Icka M. Chif. I'll dedicate one to her soon too. Just because they rock.**

…**Although I doubt she owns spiky collars but… Ya never know.**

** And the moral of the chapter is…** **Boys', when left to their own devices, will inevitably end up doing something innocent that sounds VERY wrong to some who has no idea what's going on.**

**Yay for misconceptions!**

**Weird Random stuff…**

**Woman: "I got a set of golf clubs for my husband"  
Friend: "GREAT trade!" **

**How do you scare a man?  
Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. **

**Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.  
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you? **

**Did you really throw your husband out on the street naked, for taking a bath with Bubbles?  
Yes I did, and I threw Bubbles out too.**


End file.
